I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
