dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
