I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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