she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
