your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
