Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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