took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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