The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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