Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
