JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
