I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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