You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
