Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
