In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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