But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
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No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
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How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
that may or may not have been my penis.
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