im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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