Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
