hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm bleeding and have questions
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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