we have officially lost it.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You can't special order awesome
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
