she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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