just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
