how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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