I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
