i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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