i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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