Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
