god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
