I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Even my vagina gasped.
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She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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