I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize