I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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