That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
