Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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