so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I wish I only lived at night.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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