My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
