Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
