i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You're like the curious george of whores
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My life is pants optional.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
