Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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