I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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