God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
