How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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