these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
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Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
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I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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