I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
