How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
