just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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