She said her name was "party"
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
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