You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
be right there i have to get my cape
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize