I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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