We're like a lot better than the average bears
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
