I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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