Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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