I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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