Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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