sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
