I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize