I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
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I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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