Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
