So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
