bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize