if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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