Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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